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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28187109">Nightmares and Daydreams</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/acommontater/pseuds/acommontater'>acommontater</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon-Typical Violence, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Gen, Post-Finale, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:41:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,214</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28187109</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/acommontater/pseuds/acommontater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Three nightmares brought on by the past and one impossible dream for the future, as had by Avatar Aang throughout his life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aang/Katara (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Nightmares and Daydreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was originally going to be a 5+1 style story, but ended up as a 3+1 instead. Short and (bitter)sweet!</p><p>The whole Gaang has some major trauma and since Aang canonically deals with dreams about his, it was a natural jumping off point. (and also a fun way to help plan out plot points for some other wips.)</p><p>If you would like more detailed information about the contents of the nightmares before reading, check the end notes!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>1.</p><p> </p><p>The warmth in the metal room is just below discomfort. The creak of the door and the soft shuffle of shoes make his head snap up. The door slides shut behind a terribly familiar uniform. Aang goes to fling himself forward, but shackles catch at his ankles and wrists.</p><p>“How does it feel to be the last of your people?” Zhao grins cruelly.</p><p>Aang feels the fight drain out of him, sagging against the shackles. The cold metal bites into his wrists where he lets himself hang, staring down at the ground and watching the retreating boots of the Admiral. The feet turn suddenly and Aang frowns. That isn’t right. Zhao leaves, he’s supposed to leave.</p><p>Why does he know that?</p><p>There’s a sudden blast of flames and he yanks his arms down to block them. Another blast and he’s falling backwards, turning in midair before he hits the ground to summon a barrier of rocks to block the fire.</p><p>“You’re weak! Just like your people.” Ozai’s voice echoes manically from beyond the darkness of the rocky shell he’s created. The rocks light up cherry red with heat. “They didn’t deserve to live in this world.”</p><p>Aang cracks his eyes open. He can see his own sweat drip down his skin, the fire lighting it red like blood. He can’t breathe in the heat and the enclosed space. His muscles ache with how tight he holds the earth around him, his joints hold the creaking tension of knowing if he slips, even for a moment, he’s dead. There will be no coming back for him or for the world. The crawl of sweat down his spine make him shudder and he futilely tries to blink away the sting of soot and salt in his eyes. Tries to catch his breath, to hear anything beyond his own pounding heart. He has to come up with a plan, has to <em>do</em> something or else…. Or else….. He can’t remember what. There is just heat and horror and….</p><p>Sudden cool relief.</p><p> </p><p>Aang groans- his body feels like he’s gone several rounds against the badgermoles themselves. Or maybe just a couple rounds of training with Toph.</p><p>There’s a small gasp from near his elbow.</p><p>“Mom!”</p><p>He manages to open his eyes. Bumi’s head of unruly hair is at his side, his wide blue eyes peering anxiously at Aang. He summons a small smile to try and reassure his son.</p><p>“Hey, Bums.” He rasps. His head pounds unevenly as he turns to look at where he is.</p><p>“Oh good, you’re awake.” Katara appears, reaching out to touch his forehead. Her hand is cool and after a moment she sighs in relief. “Your fever broke.”</p><p>Aang thinks back, trying to remember the thing that happened. Katara gives him a few ice chips and he lets the welcome water melt against his tongue as he gathers his thoughts. Katara looks tired, dark shadows under her eyes in a way he hasn’t seen since Bumi was a baby.</p><p>“What happened?” he asks finally.</p><p>“You came down with the fever that’s all over the city right now. You’ve been down for a couple of days.” Katara sits next to him and Bumi climbs up on his other side. She runs a hand over Bumi’s head. “Bums, will you go down to the kitchen and get a bowl of rice for your dad?”</p><p>Bumi nods seriously, clambering off the bed and disappearing out the door giving no indication of hearing Katara’s reminder to walk instead of run. Aang reaches out and catches her hand.</p><p>“How bad is it in the city?” He asks. She sighs, shoulders slumping.</p><p>“The other healers and I have been doing all we can, but it moved too fast to be able to contain it. It’s a waiting game at this point.” Her exhaustion creeps into her voice. “You gave me a scare, collapsing like that.”</p><p>“I don’t remember.” Aang says. He glances around the familiar bedroom. “Not bad enough to end up in the infirmary though.”</p><p>Katara smiles humorlessly.</p><p>“I just thought it would be… safer, to have you here.”</p><p>Aang can read between the lines- a fever induced fit of bending would have been impossible to deal with in the infirmary ward, let alone risking him triggering the Avatar state. He squeezes her hand gently.</p><p>“Well, good thing you did. I feel fine, just tired.” Katara raises a skeptical brow. “And a little like I’ve been run over by a boulder.” He adds.</p><p>“You’re on bedrest for at least today and tomorrow.” She tells him, then sighs. “I wish it could be longer, but this isn’t getting better and the other nations need to be informed and reassured about what’s happening.”</p><p>“The good thing about bedrest is that I’ll have some time to catch up on everything that’s happened so far.” He says lightly.</p><p>Katara gives him a level look and Aang returns it with a serious gaze. He mentally braces himself for the reports he’s going to read.</p><p>The door slams back open and Bumi reappears, carefully holding a bowl and some utensils.</p><p>“I got it!” He declares proudly.</p><p>“Thank you, Bums.” Aang says, sitting up with a small huff and taking the bowl of rice.</p><p>“I put the seaweed on that you like too!” Bumi points out with a smile.</p><p>“That was very thoughtful of you, I’m sure it will be delicious.”</p><p>Katara stands up and pats the bed where she’d been sitting.</p><p>“Here, Bumi. Why don’t you keep your dad company while he eats? I need to go to some checkups.”</p><p>“Okay!” Bumi says cheerfully, hopping up to sit on the edge of the bed.</p><p>She leans over and presses a kiss to each of their heads before turning to go. Aang catches Katara’s eye as she leaves. They exchange a long look, before she turns away and hurries out the door.</p><p>He tunes back into Bumi’s cheerful chatter as he eats. His son gladly informs him about the goings on of the island for the last few days… or at least, his version of the events. He might need to have a talk with Sokka about the appropriate number of embellishments to add to a story, as he listens to how Bumi nobly halted a hoard of zombie lemurs from invading the island.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>2.</p><p> </p><p>They land on Air Temple island and Aang hops down, giving Appa a thankful head-rub before the skybison heads off to his stables. He glances up the hill in anticipation.</p><p>Usually, at least one of the kids comes down to meet him. (Often it’s a race to see who can make it down to the landing area first. Aang isn’t supposed to know that it is, but there are even rules that Bumi put into place. 1) No bending, just fast feet 2) the winner is the first one to hug him, not just make it to the landing area 3) no shortcuts)</p><p>It’s disappointing, but not out of the ordinary when the path down the hill remains empty. Aang slowly makes his way up the path to the temple and house, enjoying stretching his legs out after flying for so long.</p><p>(From where? A tiny part of him wonders. Where had he been flying?)</p><p>He doesn’t come across any of the Acolytes on his walk and he frowns. Usually he comes across at least one of them…</p><p>He trips suddenly, the ground rolling under his feet. He picks up a set of mala beads with bemusement. Maybe one of the younger acolytes had dropped them?</p><p>He slowly looks farther up the path and he sees a limp hand with an orange sleeve. He’s suddenly aware of the smell of smoke.</p><p>Aang jerks his head up and sees plumes of smoke rising from where the temple spire should be. Then he is running, the wind whipping at his back, sudden fear in his throat as he all but flies across the island.</p><p>He sees the colorful bodies of acolytes on the ground, scorch marks along the path, the fall of their bodies like they’d been trying to block the entrance. There’s no life or sound save the crackle of burning wood.</p><p>He runs through the building, forcing himself not to yell out for his family in case there are still soldiers lingering. Empty door after empty door is flung open with more and more desperation.</p><p>Maybe they got away, maybe….</p><p>The hall in front of him tilts and he’s running through the courtyard, bodies scattered across it. He stumbles over an old Fire Nation helmet and it clatters and echoes against the stone. He spares a glance at the ground and nearly stumbles again at the sight of his friends laying lifeless on the ground. Toph, Sokka, Suki…</p><p>“No…”</p><p>(There is the tiny part of him screaming that this makes no <em>sense</em>, Zuko had made sure that the army…)</p><p>He stumbles through a curtain and finds himself in a dead-end. Around him are ungainly heaps of the bodies of soldiers, their clothing damp where they’d been struck through with ice long melted.</p><p>Against the back wall…..</p><p>He falls to his hands and knees. The familiar blue of Katara’s dress is coated in ash. He can see a small hand and slightly larger foot behind where she had fallen. The strap for the baby’s carrying pack is broken on the ground beside her. He thinks he may never be able to move again from the grief.</p><p>He was gone, again, they had needed him to be here to protect them and he…..</p><p>A hand touches his shoulder, and he cannot move, he cannot continue, not again, not…</p><p> </p><p>“-ng, Aang, sweetie, wake up.”</p><p>His eyes snap open.</p><p>Katara is leaning over him, looking concerned.</p><p> </p><p>“Katara?” He reaches out a shaking hand to touch her face.</p><p>“You were crying in your sleep.” She covers his hand with her own.</p><p>He sighs with relief, pulling her down with a soft <em>oof</em>. Aang holds her tightly for a moment, before suddenly leaping out of bed. He crosses the room in a couple of long, bending-assisted strides. Tenzin sleeps quietly in the bassinet and Aang grips the edge of it for a moment to keep himself upright.</p><p>“Aang, what-“</p><p>He whirls quietly past Katara and down the hall. Both Bumi and Kya are sleeping soundly in their beds. Katara catches up to him as he sinks down to sit against the wall in the hallway. He feels dizzy with relief.</p><p>Katara kneels down next to him.</p><p>“Aang, you’re worrying me.” She says quietly.</p><p>“Sorry.” He takes her hand and presses a kiss to it before resting his forehead against it to ground himself. “I had a… nightmare. Worst one in a long, <em>long</em> time.”</p><p>Her face softens. She squeezes his hand and pulls him to his feet. They walk quietly down to the kitchen and Katara flash boils them some tea. Aang smiles gratefully at her, accepting his cup.</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” She asks after they’ve both had a few sips. (It’s never as good as Iroh or Zuko’s but it serves its purpose.) Aang sighs.</p><p>“It was…” He searches for a word to convey his horror. “Like the first time in the Southern Air Temple after you woke me up.” Katara reaches out and he grips her hand. “Except. It was here, in our home. With everyone. They’d gotten all the acolytes, our friends. And.” He shudders. “Instead of finding Gyatso again, it was you. And the kids. I’d been away and I couldn’t, I wasn’t, I didn’t-”</p><p>His voice fails and he sets the cup of tea down before he drops it. Katara pulls him into a hug. He clings to her, focusing on the weight of her against him, the smell of the soap she uses on her hair.</p><p>She doesn’t need to say anything. Aang focuses on breathing, on Katara, her hand on the back of his head, the knowledge that she and their children are fine, they are safe, and he is <em>here</em>. Eventually they break apart, leaning back to their own seats. Aang picks up the cups of tea and carefully reheats them.</p><p>“I used to dream I was a spirit, did I ever tell you that?” He says after a long while. Katara gives him a bemused look. “Not the Avatar, just a <em>regular</em> spirit. I’d dream that I’d died at the temple with the other monks, but I was still there, somehow. And you and Sokka would somehow still find the temple, but you couldn’t see me. I would try everything I could to get your attention, but both of you would just look right through me.”</p><p>“Like when you went to the spirit world.” Katara says. He nods.</p><p>“People still do it, you know.” He says, sipping his tea.</p><p>“Do what?” Katara curls her hands around the warmth of her teacup.</p><p>“Look right through me. Like I’m only the Avatar or even that man at the market yesterday who made a joke about my people even though...” Aang sighs.</p><p>Katara nods in understanding. She grits her teeth through just as many, if not more, backhanded compliments and sly remarks about her people as he does. But fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your side), Katara is not so bound by peacekeeping and niceties as Aang is. Many a snide resident of the Earth Kingdom or Fire Nation had been on the receiving end of a tongue lashing from the respected waterbending master, the more prideful ones losing painfully in their attempted duels.</p><p>“I see you.” She says assuredly.</p><p>Aang smiles gratefully at her.</p><p>They finish the tea, rinse out the cups, and slowly make their way back to bed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>3.</p><p> </p><p>Aang is in the Southern Air Temple, the familiar color of the floors and walls comforting. He is sitting in the meditation room in the lower yard, curtains closed. He can smell smoke from the lit candles and incense, even though he can’t see where they are. The curtains part and a young airbender in novice robes looks in.</p><p>Aang smiles and gestures for the young novice to come in.</p><p>His hand doesn’t move.</p><p>He frowns and looks down to see his hand is merely weathered bones. When he looks up, the scent of smoke is stronger. It reminds him of the sickening smell that has clung to his own body after being struck by lightning. His body is still and he’s suddenly aware of the bodies in old Fire Nation armor laying on the ground around him. The young airbender gasps in horror and Aang looks up to find that the novice is Tenzin.</p><p>His body is unresponsive as he watches in heartbreak as his son drops to his hands and knees, a terrible grief on his face and…</p><p> </p><p>Aang wakes up. He jerks abruptly out of Katara’s gentle hold and leans over the edge of the bed, sure for a moment that he’s going to be ill. He dry heaves for a moment, struggling to get his breathing back under control.</p><p>“Aang?” Katara’s sleepy voice and soft hand on his shoulder help ground him.</p><p>When he’s sure he’s not actually going to be sick, he flops back onto the bed.</p><p>“Nightmare.” He murmurs. “Sorry about waking you up.”</p><p>Katara drapes her arm over his middle, laying her head on his shoulder with a yawn. He tucks his arm around her waist and stares at the ceiling. Carefully takes mental stock of his fingers and toes, slowly feeling his body returning from a great distance.</p><p>“’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>Aang thinks about how to explain it.</p><p>“I think it was, it was like when… When I found Gyatso. Except.” He swallows. “Tenzin found me.”</p><p>Katara inhales sharply and squeezes him lightly.</p><p>Aang squeezes back, silently staring at the ceiling.</p><p>(He can never decide which is worse- these kinds of nightmares with bones and horror that leave him with a scream trapped in his throat and a churning stomach, or the ones where he relives his own memories, or memories from other Avatars that seep into his subconscious from his life before the war, before the ice, when he wakes and has to remember all that he has lost again, and again, and again, and….)</p><p>Katara lifts a hand and pulls a short stream of water from the fountain on the far side of their room.</p><p>She rolls it into a palm-sized ball and Aang lifts a hand to catch it as she passes it to him. They quietly pass the water back and forth in a steady rhythm as they have hundreds of times before. After a while Aang feels the residual tension finally fade from his body, his eyes drooping slightly as he relaxes. Katara sends the water back to the fountain with a flick of her wrist.</p><p>“Thank you.” He says quietly.</p><p>“Of course, sweetie.” Katara whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to his shoulder before settling back down with a yawn.</p><p>Aang watches until her face, lovely in the moonlight, goes slack in sleep beside him. Then he is finally abel to let his eyes slide shut and drift off as well.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>+1.</p><p> </p><p>When he doesn’t see Appa for an afternoon while visiting the Eastern Air temple to see the progress that’s been made on the restoration, Aang doesn’t think much of it. He just assumes that Appa is down in the stables for a nap or roaming around the mountain. When he checks the stables at dinner time, he finds Appa settling in for the night. He’s greeted with a happy grumble and Appa cheerfully accepts the head-scratching Aang offers. He laughs as Appa headbutts him gently.</p><p>“I had a good day too, buddy. Sweet dreams.”</p><p> </p><p>/</p><p> </p><p>A month before Tenzin’s eighth birthday, Katara finishes breakfast and has the kids out the door to school before realizing that Aang hasn’t returned from going down to give Appa his morning snack. He’d swung by after morning meditation to greet them all, planting a kiss on her cheek and ruffling the kids hair. She assumes he got caught up in some temple business until one of the acolytes appears at the door, looking terrified.</p><p>“Master Katara, please come, quickly!”</p><p>“What’s going on?” She follows behind the acolyte at a brisk pace.</p><p>“I don’t know! But I didn’t want to risk getting any closer to him than I did.” They make their way down the trail that leads down to the bison caves.</p><p>“Something happened to Aang?”</p><p>“I don’t know! I couldn’t get close enough to tell if anything was wrong, I turned around and ran to find you as soon as I saw.”</p><p>“Saw wh-“ Katara stops as her question is answered. She swears under her breath, ignoring the scandalized look the acolyte shoots her.</p><p>Aang is hovering next to the cave, tattoos glowing. He’s contained himself in a ball of air, but Katara can see that he’s shaking all over with the effort of staying in one place. It’s been <em>years</em> since she’s seen him in this kind of a state. Putting an arm up over her face, she inches towards the center of the melee.</p><p>“Aang!” she shouts, then repeats herself as she manages to get closer.</p><p>When she touches his wrist, he whips around to face her, the eerie eyeless light boring into her.</p><p>“Master Katara of the Southern Water Tribe.” The Avatar says and a sudden recognition seems to hit.</p><p>Aang reaches out a shaking hand and she grabs it. The air slowly fades to calm as he slowly comes out of the Avatar State. He collapses onto her, still trembling. Katara sinks to the ground, her husband in her arms.</p><p>“Sweetie, what happened?”</p><p>Aang inhales as if to answer, but then just shakes his head, curling towards her to hide his face in her neck.</p><p>Katara looks around, confused.</p><p>Then she realizes that the cave, Appa’s cave, is very, very empty.</p><p> </p><p>/</p><p> </p><p>Aang is understandably inconsolable, but he puts on a brave face for their family and the acolytes.</p><p>When he’s not doing any obligatory duties, Katara finds him either sitting in meditation or laying silently in their bed. For the first couple of weeks after Appa’s disappearance Aang had spent hours every day on his glider in large circular routes moving farther from the city every day, searching with his bison whistle.</p><p>The only small consolation is that he can tell that Appa’s alive.</p><p>“I’d know.” He’d said tersely to Sokka when he’d hesitantly asked. “If Appa was…. I would know. I’d feel it.”</p><p>“He’ll come home.” Katara reassures him. “Appa always comes back.”</p><p>Neither of them dwells on the only other time the two airbenders had been separated for so long.</p><p> </p><p>/</p><p> </p><p>The night before Tenzin’s birthday, Katara finds Aang sitting on the roof of the temple, staring up at the starry sky. She fashions a set of icy stairs to join him. They sit quietly, looking out at the clear night. Katara leans back and allows herself to bask in the dim moonlight.</p><p>“The spring after your eighth autumn,” Aang says softly. “was when we traditionally got to travel to the Western Air temple. The nuns would train you on how to take care of the skybison and then you’d get to meet and bond with the calves. We got to stay a few weeks to get to know each other and train.”</p><p>Katara looks at him. He has a familiar, distant look on his face, chin resting on one knee.</p><p>“I gave Appa an apple the first time we met.” Aang turns so his face rests on his knee as he looks at her. “I was going to take Tenzin for a ride tomorrow, at least to let him learn about our traditions, even if I couldn’t…”</p><p>Katara reaches out and takes his hand. He squeezes it gratefully and swallows hard.</p><p> </p><p>/</p><p> </p><p>The next morning, Katara is woken up when Aang suddenly springs out of bed.</p><p>“What are you-“</p><p>He stands stock still in the middle of the room for a moment, then abruptly grabs his staff and flings himself out of the window. Katara grabs a robe and hastily ties it as she stumbles across the room to look out and see what on earth is happening. She can see the bright color of Aang’s glider in the sky as he speeds off the island, as well as some confused acolytes looking up after him.</p><p>Then she hears a distant familiar roar. Katara hurries out of the temple as well, nearly running down to the landing area by the caves. Bumi spots her as she passes the courtyard and immediately grabs his brother and sister to follow along.</p><p>Katara looks up at the sky, ignoring the way the wind off the bay whips her hair into her face. A familiar hulking figure appears in the sky, quickly approaching. She’s aware of the kids following her when Bumi suddenly yells next to her.</p><p>“Appa’s back!”</p><p>Kya cheers and abruptly squeezes Tenzin in an excited hug.</p><p>Appa lands with a gentle thud in front of them. Aang is laying across the bison’s head, his face buried in Appa’s soft fur. He sits up a little, happy tears on his face.</p><p>“Katara, you’re never going to believe what-“</p><p>She gasps as another skybison lands beside Appa. From behind this new bison, three small calves appear, looking curiously at the little family.</p><p>“Baby Appas!” Kya crows. Bumi grabs her to stop her from running up to the animals.</p><p>Katara makes her way over to where Aang has slid down to lean on Appa’s side. He smiles widely at her and she returns it, his joy infectious.</p><p>Two of the little skybison scamper back behind what must be their mother, followed by Bumi and Kya. The third calf is eyeing where Tenzin has sat down in front of it. He holds out a flat hand with a few hastily picked flowers on it. The calf sniffs suspiciously before licking his hand clean. Then it abruptly licks Tenzin’s face, practically knocking him backwards in enthusiasm.</p><p>“Ack, <em>oogie</em>!” he complains, wiping at the saliva the bison has left on him. The bison merely licks him again, before settling to lay next to the young airbender. Tenzin cautiously reaches out and scratches at it’s head. When he’s met with a small, approving grumble, he grins widely, digging both hands into the soft fur and watching as the calf’s eyes slowly slide shut in contentment.</p><p>Katara feels Aang’s hand suddenly grip her shoulder and she lifts one of her own to cover it. When she glances over at her husband, he has his other hand covering his mouth, fresh tears of happiness nearly spilling over.</p><p>She squeezes his fingers gently as they watch the kids coax the baby skybison into being pet. No matter that it’s happened so many times before for them, she thinks, it’s still a bit of a heady thing to watch the future being shaped right in front of your eyes.</p><p>In a little while they will have to corral the overexcited bundles of hope for the future back up from the stables for breakfast. But for now, they bask in the moment of joy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warnings:  torture, genocide, slight body horror, implied violence/gore (not beyond anything done or implied in canon), widespread illness as a plot point.</p><p>There were MULTIPLE new skybison on Air Temple Island and nary a proper line of dialogue to explain them smh.<br/>Feel free to talk chat about ATLA on the tungle over at @ appassaddle if you're so inclined. :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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